Don’t Trust Used Car Dealers
by Hysteria82
Summary: Butch finds out that Cassidy parking his car in the Team Rocket parking lot was a bad thing, and Jessie and James play car dealers.


It was another lovely day in the orange islands. Nothing could disturb the calm beauty that covered the landscape, not even the bickering of two teenagers....but the bickering of two teenage team rocket agents who were almost as well known for the guy's scratchy voice (which sounds remarkable similar to a garbage disposal) as they were for they're evil deeds was a completely different matter.  
  
"Stop yelling at me, Butch. It's not my fault your convertible was stolen. I did lock the doors after all." Cassidy defended.  
  
"But you left the roof down and you parked it in the Team Rocket Parking garage! What type of ditz would leave a new car in a garage made for thieves?!" he shouted, on the verge of pulling his hair out.  
  
"Geez, I make one mistake and you never let it drop! I can't believe you! And would you please stop talking, you're bothering my Raticate!"she gestured towards the twitching rat on the ground.  
  
The poor things' large ears cursed it with good hearing.  
  
"Anyways, I can't believe you're being such a jerk!" she yelled through fake tears.  
  
"All day long I cook and slave for you and what thanks do I get! I gave you the best years of my life...everyday I made you breakfast, clean the house...and where were you! Out having a good time with your friends while I'm home raising our children and working my hands to the bone! You didn't even relies that poor little Timmy had the chicken pox! What type of husband and father are you!"   
  
Her partner looked away and shifted from foot to foot.  
  
"Cassidy...I didn't relies..." he started.  
  
"Don't just don't! Just go get another car so we don't have to walk the rest of the way!" she sobbed and pointed down the road in the general direction of a used car lot they saw about 20 or so miles back.  
  
Butch was left speechless (The Raticate was very thankful for this). So, without a word, he began walking toward the car dealer ship wallowing in guilt.  
  
About 10 miles down the road Butch stopped.  
  
"Wait a minute! Me and Cassidy ain't married and who the heck is Timmy?!"  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile at the 'Rocketmobile' car dealership...  
  
"Having car trouble?"  
  
"Then make it to our dealership on the double!"  
  
"Is your car a humiliation?"  
  
"Then drop by automobile station!"  
  
"To denounce the evils of the 'Love Bug'!"  
  
"To extend our prices to the stars above!"  
  
"Jessie!"  
  
"James!"  
  
"Rocketmobiles will find you a car that's just right!"  
  
"But the fine print is our delight..."  
  
"Meowth...yeah right..." meowth interrupted, and smiled with glee as his partners slipped and fell off the car they were posing on because he had distracted them.  
  
"You just want easy access to the backseat of a car..." he added and then ducked the hubcap that was thrown at him.  
  
Luckily for meowth, the bell on the door rang and the Jessie and James peered over the counter to see who their next victim...er...I mean, customer was.  
  
"It's Butch!" They yipped and ducked back behind the counter.  
  
"Jessie, can we honestly cheat a fellow team rocket member?" asked James as he straightened his tie.  
  
"Well, we already stole his car..."she answered as she straightened her mustache.  
  
"Good point"   
  
"Welcome to rocketmobiles!" Jessie said in the deepest voice she could manage.  
  
"um...hi..."Butch answer uncertainly. He could have sworn he recognized those two...  
  
"you are here to buy a car...aren't you?" the red haired rocket asked thinking he might have recognize them.  
  
"'Cause only paying customers are allowed to use the restroom." James added completely clueless as normal.  
  
Jessie hit him.  
  
"Yeah...I need a car, mine was stolen." he said, giving up on trying to place names with their faces. He probably had a one night stand with them in the past or something.  
  
"Great! Follow us!" James peeped and dashed out the door.  
  
Once the three of them had reached the car lot, Jessie and James stopped and did one of their trade mark show girls poses . Only they were dressed as guys so it didn't work as well as it normally would.  
  
"right here is our deluxe model. It comes with four wheels and runs." Jessie said pointing towards a hunk of rust held together with duck taped and dirt.  
  
"It's a lawn mower." Butch observed.  
  
"no duh." James answered.  
  
"Well...I kinda wanted a car...hey! what's that!" Butch said catching glance of a car hidden under a tarp hidden behind a road sign .  
  
he ran off to see it and the 'car dealers' sweat dropped before running to catch up with him.  
  
"This is great!" Butch cheered as he looked the car over.  
  
"It's just like my old car...same color, same seat covers...oh my god...it even has a cigarette burn mark on the same seat as mine did...on the same spot even! wow! How much?"   
  
"$20,000." Jessie answered, figuring if he was dumb enough not to relies it was his car he would be dumb enough to pay that much for a used car.  
  
Butch reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple ones and a bunch of change.  
  
"I got $6.72, some lint, and a ticket stub."   
  
Jessie and James looked at each other, then at Butch, back at each other then pulled out their 'special' contract.  
  
"We'll take that as a down payment."  
  
"you just have to sign this contract."   
  
  
"What's it say?" he asked with that rough voice of his.  
  
"oh, just the usual." Jams replied.  
  
"Yeah, it just basically says that you have to pay use back...and sign over all your things if you die, give us any large amount of money you come across, all you CDs, you soul, ect ect ect..." Jessie continued ...saying the last few parts a bit to low for Butch to hear.  
  
  
"OK" he croaked and signed away his life and any chance of every making something of himself.  
  
After grabbing the contract, the rocket duo tossed him the keys and ran back to the show room.  
  
"Sweet." Butch said, ignoring the field full of twitching ratattas.  
  
***  
  
"meowth! we sold a car!" the teenagers told meowth while joy hugging.  
  
"I see." the cat pokemon said doubtfully. "to who?"  
  
"Butch."  
  
"Did you make sure ya were paid in full."  
  
"no."  
  
"yous do relies he's probably not gonna pay yous back, right?"  
  
"yes..."  
  
"But we were tired of hearing him talk so..."  
  
***  
  
Later, at a parking garage...  
  
"See Cassidy, this is how you lock a car up." Butch told her and set the keys on the closed roof before turning around to mock her.  
  
"Now that wasn't so hard was it? All you had to do was lock the door after you put the roof up...putting the roof up is very important, if you don't put it up people may...why are you staring past me?" he asked , slightly annoyed that she was ignoring his speech.  
  
"Oh, I was just trying to see who took your keys off your car's roof and drove away with is..."cassidy said off handily.  
  
"OK, as I was saying...WHAT! MY CAR?!?!" he screamed and started running after it.  
  
After running a few meters he fell in a coughing fit.  
  
"you OK?" cassidy called after him.  
  
"Can't...breath...need...cigarette..."  
  
She kicked him for being stupid and called her twitching Raticate back into it's pokeball before it's ear drums exploded.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
